Reflections Of A Desi Mom

  How long..and How much?  As I wrapped up today after sharing a video of beautiful memories of me with my friends.. and saw so many social media pictures of people having friendship day in-person parties - my heart was filled with so many emotions.  When I saw my 10 yr old smiling at her bestie on yet another video chat..trying to play a game of Roblox with both her Masi and BFF..without much success.. I felt even more sad... When I wiped tears from her big black eyes on her belated birthday celebration also being cancelled .... I just couldn't control my own.. At one time when she used to sit with me making friendship bands and then go buy small friendship day accessories for me, her dad and her friends.. And now - she didn't even ask again if she could go buy stuff... She knew she wasn't going to meet her friends anyways.... All this because of - NO - NOT just the Pandemic! But because of "FOOLS" who refuse to wear their MASKS properly while not alone. These so...

Last month this time when we are basking in the cheer of celebrating N's birthday over a zoom call with family and close friends.. little did we think next month this time a similar zoom call will bring us together to say goodbye to a loved one. A virtual condolence meet. 😔 There are not enough curse words for this disease but alas that doesn't put together broken hearts.  Neither does it wipe the uncontrollable tears of family members, nor does it console helpless family members sitting miles away from each other.  From the time when people used to travel hours together to be with their loved ones during difficult times of death and loss, we have come to the point where all we can do is see and hear them over screens ...barely controlling the urge to go and hold them close & console them with all our might. Just in the hope of reducing a little bit of hurt and pain. But this disease has taken away that basic privilege from us too. 😢 Not able to be present physically dur...

I wonder if there ever will be a birthday of N's when I won't be beyond exhausted and feel hungover for almost 2 days in a row!! J has stopped wondering!!!! LOL He just knows.. 😜 This year when I brought up the idea to combat lockdown blues on her birthday, he was instantly on board and i could see relief on his face.. Bas now it will get done and I don't have to do lift my finger from my keyboard was perhaps going on in his mind..  🙄 May began with another lockdown in the city thanks to ever rising covid cases and N started loosing hope that she will be able to have friends over.. but after all she is a child and she stored some hope in the back of her heart..hidden. But later she realized that we are struggling to get appointments for vaccines and till we don't get - we just need to keep behaving like Rapunzel locked up in our homes - being safe! Few days before her birthday I heard her telling her BFF - R - "I don't think I can call u or S (another BFF) fo...

  When is   Enough  really   Enough ?  When is the situation going to get under control for good?  When does the common man/woman/family feel ok ya it was enough - and now I don't have to go through that ordeal anymore?  But Wait!  We are the common people.. Since when we can ask questions or expect explanations?  We are only supposed to walk into those glum centers to press the buttons to caste our negligible vote!  I have always been dark and twisty by nature however, while raising a very curious daughter I have learnt to be a little more realistic.. And in spite of the constant physical pain, isolation, social distancing in the last year - I managed to keep my optimism. Believe in the fact that 1 day we will be free again. Free to step out without layers of masks and bottles of sanitizer in tow. And NO - I am not kidding myself.. I didn't expect that day would come as soon as the clock strikes 12 when the year changed.. But I certainl...

-I am not doing enough! -Am I giving enough nutrition to my child? -Shall I continue/quit with my job? -How will I afford the daycare/nanny if I quit my job? -I am around my child too much as a SAHM! -I have no time left to do anything of my own! -Am I eating healthy enough to keep lactating? -I don't have any/enough help! -If only I can have more help, I can spend more time with my baby/child? -Helper/Nanny/Mom/MIL is a great help, but are not doing it how I want to do! -Why am I expected to do everything for my child and still being told You cannot manage alone? -What is with all the criticism? -If child bearing takes a village - where will I find it??? All of these and many such thoughts cross a young mother's mind these days.. Unfortunately none of the parenting or baby books and websites prepare us to answer any of these questions. 😐  But all of these are absolutely NORMAL.  Sometimes the well meaning and loving ladies in our lives too don't anticipate these challen...

What happens when a blogger is not able to find enough words to express what they are feeling?  It means either something too tragic or extremely wonderful has happened!  Day before yesterday I knew I am going to have a great day because of how I felt and how I took the change in the calendar.. Done with 30s But little did I know I was in for not 1 - but many small n huge surprises!  Now, when you are a close knit nuclear family its difficult to keep secrets and plan out something different than routine - and when it comes to men doing it (hidden from wives ) - its even more difficult or so it seems.... 😎😜😆 Midnight Surprise -  We had just finished watching Indian Idol when my perky 9.5 yr old decided she is feeling sleepy and instead surprised me with a big huge dairy milk silk and balloons to welcome the clock striking 12!  It followed by family video call where I was reminded how it felt like just yesterday I was born in the middle of a chaos (in the city)...

Few hours on the clock and the decade will flip! Few hours and the calendar will show the D day and my 4th decade on this earth will be over.  The last time the decade changed for me I was pregnant with N and wishing I and J were not 7 samundar away!  This time I got my favourite kind of dresses stitched ..just the way I like it and went to pamper myself just a lil when I know N is soooo excited about my birthday.. More than anyone actually :-D   The stylist today was tempted to tell me to colour all my greys with the line of hair products he had shelved... But didn't.. perhaps thought its useless LOL...or rather I was too busy enjoying the beautiful playlist going in the background while he tamed my overflowing hair...                                        Am I undergoing a mid-life crisis trying to accept that I am turning 40??!!  Hell NO!  Even though I h...