Is the pandemic ENOUGH - Already??

 When is Enough really Enough? 

When is the situation going to get under control for good? 

When does the common man/woman/family feel ok ya it was enough - and now I don't have to go through that ordeal anymore? 

But Wait! 

We are the common people.. Since when we can ask questions or expect explanations? 

We are only supposed to walk into those glum centers to press the buttons to caste our negligible vote! 

I have always been dark and twisty by nature however, while raising a very curious daughter I have learnt to be a little more realistic..

And in spite of the constant physical pain, isolation, social distancing in the last year - I managed to keep my optimism. Believe in the fact that 1 day we will be free again. Free to step out without layers of masks and bottles of sanitizer in tow. And NO - I am not kidding myself.. I didn't expect that day would come as soon as the clock strikes 12 when the year changed.. But I certainly didn't know that situations would go to a minus zone instead of ground 0 in a matter of few months!  We are way behind from where we started in 2020! 

Statistics are worse and so is the situation. There is no neutral ground anymore! Except for the bleak hope of vaccinations everything is damn hopeless. 

Children didn't see the insides of their classrooms this whole year and teachers struggled through their screens. 

Parents are struggling to make ends meet - financially, physically and emotionally. 

Senior citizens are stuck in their homes isolated and feeling lonelier than ever. 

Youngsters don't know if they have any future left where they can hope for things to get better at all..

Where have we come to?? And WHY??????

Because the cricket matches were more important than hospital management? 

Because cutting off religious activities like Kumbh mela or post-Namaz gatherings can cost the ruling party votes?

Because taking out rallies with thousands of mask-less people was the fundamental thing to do during a bloody pandemic? 

Because weddings happen once in a lifetime and this is the only auspicious year to tie the damn knot? 

Endless such questions have been trickling down the social platforms from everywhere around the world. Not to just the leaders of the nation, but also to people who are leading the constituency, area, society - everywhere. But in vain! People don't have answers. We are simply following the crowd like a herd of sheep! Be it following the advisory of mandatory covid testing for thousands of domestic helpers or spreading spiritual gurus' gyaan... Without understanding the context!!!

I am so sick of everything. 

So mad at everyone. 

So done with doing everything and still finding myself in the same darn place! 

For the last week the internal struggle was so nerve wrecking that I almost found it difficult to focus. The WHY keeps ringing in my ears. 

The frustration pents up even further when I cannot go and see my parents who are bravely dealing with the isolation as well as situation with far more grace than I am. - AGAIN!

The agony to see my daughter being stuck within the 4 walls of the apartment not being able to call her friend or go down to play in the garden. - AGAIN!

The anger to see my husband slogging for work at all odd hours because traveling to the site is impossible - AGAIN!

The helplessness of not being able to get a medical procedure done because the ICU's are full of covid patients. - AGAIN!

The pain to see your loved ones go through very difficult times alone and you cannot be there physically to lend a hand. - AGAIN!

The physical pain of getting things done increases 2 folds when your mind is Anxious and Angry! 

And then blame game starts. No. Not just authorities. I think we all are supposed to be blamed for this AGAIN situation. 

Traveling recklessly.. 

Spitting in public places...

Not demanding the shopkeeper/banker/subjiwala to keep their mask ON THEIR BLOODY NOSE & MOUTH.. 

Thronging malls & markets in large numbers just because we are bored...

Restarting contact sports & activities without thinking of what's the result gonna be...

Attending weddings and parties as if 2 years without them will make our life living hell...

And when I see myself having followed all the rules to the T, taking extreme precautions no matter what ... and still to be stuck at home - I only feel ANGER, Resentment and Despise for each and every one who took this pandemic lightly. Because who is suffering at the end of the day? 

Celebrities?

Politicians? 

Godmen?

No. You and Me. The mango people and the mango family! 

To top all of this - the social media is full of hopeful mesgs  - Yet AGAIN! 

Honestly people.. I am sorry if you are one of those who shared some... but I just have to say this. 

I HATE THE POSITIVITY more than anything right now. 

It's not working!

It's one thing for a loner guru to keep preaching about spending time with your family and entirely another to be cooped up within 4 walls 24x7 and having endless hours together & climb on each other's nerves all the time! Enough with the quantity! I am craving for quality. 

I want all of us to be able to step out.. meet people...finish their jobs during the day and then come back to the solace of the family to be with each other and share!!! 

I want our children to go out..play..fall..get physically tired and then crave for their beds at night...

I want to go to a small café - not for the food but to just sit and savour the moment of hot coffee served to me...

I want to take the train like every year and slog in the heat of my native city enjoying the kachchi keri ice lolly with my daughter...

I want to decide how my next year would look like and not the bloody pandemic, virus, politicians or decision makers! 

I am done with this endless uncertainty. 

Just want  NORMAL!

I am so Done. 

I have had Enough. Just Enough. 

-Mom.Reflections

(Today's post has no pictures. I do not have the bandwidth to search for graphic content of my state of mind tonight!)