Emotional Challenges of a New Mom

-I am not doing enough!

-Am I giving enough nutrition to my child?

-Shall I continue/quit with my job?

-How will I afford the daycare/nanny if I quit my job?

-I am around my child too much as a SAHM!

-I have no time left to do anything of my own!

-Am I eating healthy enough to keep lactating?

-I don't have any/enough help!

-If only I can have more help, I can spend more time with my baby/child?

-Helper/Nanny/Mom/MIL is a great help, but are not doing it how I want to do!

-Why am I expected to do everything for my child and still being told You cannot manage alone?

-What is with all the criticism?

-If child bearing takes a village - where will I find it???

All of these and many such thoughts cross a young mother's mind these days.. Unfortunately none of the parenting or baby books and websites prepare us to answer any of these questions. 😐 But all of these are absolutely NORMAL. 

Sometimes the well meaning and loving ladies in our lives too don't anticipate these challenges as they might have never come across these. 

We almost feel like a failure and the darkest emotions try to engulf us in that state. 

Now, some of us are more positive than others and they take such taxing emotions with a pinch of salt and still wear the smile on their faces just like the studs in their ears. 

But if you are like me - It takes a while to process these emotions... To make some sense out of these feelings... And most important to get over all the negative thoughts that ambush us at one point or other. Some times our child's smile, cooing, and touch is more than enough to lift our spirits. And then there are times, when even the coziest cuddle with our munchkin doesn't calm us down. 😔

The reasons can vary from 

-Hormones

-Little or No support from Spouse

-Overall nature of the mom

-Family situation

-Work stress etc

Let me conclude this by saying, Mommy, - You are not alone in this. You have a whole fraternity whom you belong to and so many of us feel the same way - sometimes all at once, sometimes one emotion at a time. 

Motherhood is very challenging. As a friend rightly put -

And mommying often takes the harder brunt of the parenting part...Leaving us on our own at times.. Sometimes even lonelier than ever...Away from the village people talk about. 

For me the village closed its gates in the first couple of months of motherhood. So I developed my eco-system around me when we moved to a new place and then I was free to :

-laugh with my child when I could

-left the unfolded clothes on the chair for 1 more day 

-made bubbles when I could

-co-slept with my daughter for the longest time

-hired a cook when I couldn't manage everything

-delayed playschool cos N was very a attached baby

-talked with her all day long

-made friends with moms whom I could relate to 

-do my own mistakes

-have my own rules

I stopped thinking, caring what other moms around me or in my family think about my mommying style.. And it made me freer, happier and a guilt-free Mumma!

In short DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO for being just your child's MOM... 

Just like there is no perfect child - there is no perfect parent or parenting style. 

Everything has its pros and cons. 

Find your zone, your comfort level, your preferences to be your child's Mommy! 

Nothing else matters!!!

Your child just wants his mom (and dad) that too Happy One(s)! 

Enjoy this time - cos you might have more children or not - but these years, months, weeks and days won't ever come back again! 

Live them to the fullest!

Sending lots of love from this side of the world! 🤗

Happy Mommying! 🥰

-Mom Reflections